I have been a user of cannabis products for a long time.

The first time I discovered marijuana, I was a freshman in college and I was partying at Virginia Tech. While dancing and having a good time, I met a boy and the boy shared his green with me. And the green fascinated, dazzled and invited me to come sit and get to know myself. That night, we sat and talked and I listened to music with brand new “green” ears that made everything sound so much bigger and more impactful to my system. I had no idea how my system was responding to the smoke and somewhere in the night we decided to make a snack run. It wasn’t until I realized I was driving 35 miles per hour on Highway 81 feeling like I was flying down the road and the cars passing by us were maniacs that I knew I was truly altered. After that night, I left it alone, only dabbling on occasion until I arrived in Holland and I made Mr. Green my live in boyfriend, exploring how he made me feel in every situation. Could I write high? How hard could I make myself cum while I was high? If I got really high, how long could I make it last? How long could I cut my appetite before the munchies came? Singing? Mmmmmmmm. Journeying and meditation? Um, yes please.

He was such a good boyfriend. (le sigh)

So good that I didn’t want to hang with anyone else. Everything else paled in comparison to him. (notice I made Green masculine - the only man I could ever count on, he came in and took over everything, he wanted all my attention, I could go on)

He was such a good boyfriend that I forgot about other people really. Didn’t need them. I was chill.

Until Green began to take me away from myself. From my ability to care for me. To brush my hair. To eat regularly. From my ability to care about things I really should give a damn about. It took me away from time itself and let’s be honest - can your man do that??!?!? I think not. At least not in the huge swaths of time Green erased. He began to make it hard for me to think, to make decisions, to move.

Mr Green was the love of my life and my hardest breakup to date. Walking away from him felt like I was walking away from the depths of myself. Cutting me off from the places he could only take me. But I had to leave him. He made everything else hard because he was so easy.

Alas….

Is it 4:20 yet?