Alchemy is defined as a seemingly magical process of transformation, creation, or combination. The practice of using spirituality or science to transform one type of matter into another. Most commonly referenced in the topic of turning lead into gold.

I see myself as an alchemist. Do you?

Why do I see myself as an alchemist?

Because I have turned pain into wisdom, betrayal into lessons and circumstances that were less than desirable into beauty. Not an easy feat or process but well worth the efforts, you too have probably done the same. You lost a job and instead of getting mad and allowing that to stick you in a bad space, you shifted and decided that there must be a better job out there waiting for you, got to work looking for it and made the best of the situation until you did. You kept attracting not so loving relationships and instead of labeling all future potential partners as undesirable because “they’re all the same”, you instead went within yourself to figure out where YOU were withholding love from you and resolved to change that. You turned every tear you cried into the fertilizer for change. You saw opportunity where others saw obstacles. You didn’t hold grudges because you knew people were only exhibiting behavior that they displayed towards themselves. You alchemized everything that was thrown your way and refuses to be defined by any of it because you made the commitment to define your own self by your own knowing and beliefs.

These are the ways I have approached the happenings of my life and when I encounter some people, they think that I must have had an easy life to be so happy. They believe that there is no way I can speak on these things because I must not know struggle. Unfortunately, I do.

I have been sexually assaulted since a very young age, over and over again by people I trusted. I have been raped. I have been in truly violent relationships, so bad I have hidden myself away in shame until the bruises healed. I have had a gun held to my face. I have seen others I loved badly hurt. I have been chased and choked until my feet dangled. I have died and been brought back to life. It goes on.

And none of that defines me. It used to though. Alchemy is not an overnight process. It takes time to forgive, let go, surrender, find peace, forgive again and repeat. I have had help from those unseen, whispers in the night of encouragement, the chance meeting with just the right person, nudges of guidance to the right healers - all that helped me find the faith to find my way to turn the lead into gold. To take the Ls and turn them into Wins by learning why I found myself in pain or in the company of others who brought the pain and passing that wisdom on to those I love to help them learn from observation and not by going through it themselves.

Becoming the alchemist has been the mission that my soul stamped on my heart. i don’t really think I had a choice in the matter upon reflection. Do you have that choice? If you get quiet enough, I believe you will find that you don’t either.

Transform it. Flip it. Change it. Allow the healing and then accept the gifts that come on the other side of it.

I love you!

xx