Embracing Our Sensitivities

Have you ever been called “overly sensitive”? Criticized for your feeling nature? Felt like a lonely island of emotions that confuses you because you can’t understand why others don’t feel like you do too?

Ever since my earliest memories, I have been told that I am too sensitive. That I feel too much. That I allow too much in to my heart. That my heart bleeds too easily and for too many. I understand now that this criticism was just their fear talking. Those that made this judgement of me were scared that I was going to get hurt or that, God forbid, I would trigger them to feel something too. Most of my family were very good at either suppressing their emotions and true feelings or they let their emotions go off and were volatile. This made me a very observant child, looking to see who was “safe” and who was not. I felt a lot and I took on the belief very early that I was the only one I could trust with my big feelings. I chose the side of suppression, never really speaking up. Even in times where I needed to. I kept everything to myself, choosing to cry silently at night or celebrate my wins with headphones and my own little happy dance.

I was called soft so much. Told I needed to toughen up and I tried but it never stuck. My heart would always tell on me. I could be watching television and a commercial about a mother’s sacrifices would make me tear up. I could be watching a YouTube video of someone singing and be instantly transported into the story they were telling. (see this video of a father singing a song he wrote after his son died - completely gutted me). And don’t get me started on “This Is Us”! I could even be watching the people walk by on a bench outside and be touched by the kids playing. I would try to hide my emotions but inevitably someone would notice and say “there you go again”. In those moments, I would train myself to shrink again. To make myself smaller and smaller. Marking the belief that I could not trust others with my truth with more evidence that my conclusion was right. It hurt the most when it came from someone I felt understood me. Someone I let in to the inner sanctum of my spirit. Those seemed to cut like a knife to my heart. So inevitably, I began to judge my feelings harshly too. Trying to change the very core of who I was. To be more like the others. But that my dear friends was not the way. It only chipped away at me even more. I had to accept that I feel because I came into this body to feel. I had to accept that as a Beloved Daughter of the Most High who makes no mistakes, the size of my heart need not be questioned.

Eventually, when I learned that I was an empath, things started to make more sense. I learned that I was wired a bit different and there was a manual to help me understand how and maybe even why. I began to see how gifted I truly am to be able to feel a room without a word. To know when someone needs a kindness because their spirit is uneasy. To know when my sponge has absorbed too much and needs to be emptied. To know that my tears are not only my tears but I am in service to those who cannot cry for themselves. To know that I am releasing generations of pain. To know that I am a walking, breathing sensor capable of knowing danger in people, places and things and also tremendous beauty. I can appreciate it all because it all has purpose. And to know that I get a choice accept these gifts as things to be embraced. To know that I can trust my intuition. That I can trust my body. That it is intelligent and talks to me all the time - if I would only listen. I learned in this acceptance that my sensitivities are my superpower leading me to exactly where I am to be divinely placed in any given moment. Accepting who we are and doing the work on ourselves to uncover the peace required to move with confidence in these gifts is what we are here for. Clearing the cache. Making space for allowance and love to lead the way. This is the Beauty Way. My way.

So please, call me sensitive. Call me soft. I accept it. It means my heart is working and that I am listening.

That we are listening.

All is more than well my friends. We’ve simply been in training for the big show.

I love you.

xx

Visit the blog archive where more musings will be stored and please pass this message along to anyone who could also benefit from it.

And if you feel called to work with me, I am running a group program at the end of the month of June called “Heal the Healer”. You can find out more here.